i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
