dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
