just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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