I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
