Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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