So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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