I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
