Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
