no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
