you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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