This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
