Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just made out with a guy for $7.

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(415): View more from California

Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them

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(970): View more from Colorado

Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?

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(815): View more from Illinois

I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.

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(207): View more from Maine

when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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(518): View more from New York

he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.

(732): View more from New Jersey

do you still have it? i kinda want to see.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling

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(615): View more from Tennessee

So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.

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