they need to just BURY HIM!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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