I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
