I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
