yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
