dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize