You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
