btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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