Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
