you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
