so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
