Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
