I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
