He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
