yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
