She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
