It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
