Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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