vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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