Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
