Jerry, you need to find god
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize