whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
