i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
