Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
