i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
NoShamevember. You game?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
