I just threw up on my dentist
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
