I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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