WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dick has a subreddit
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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