WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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