well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
