this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
