this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
