I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
