I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
