you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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