didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize