I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize