I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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