I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
