fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think i peed on brittanys purse
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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