I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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