i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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