you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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