38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
