For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
