that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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