But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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