my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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