it's not cheating when I paid for it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
