"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love having hate sex.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
