Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Still dying that you shit outside
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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