What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
