At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
