remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They took my balls.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
