Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
