A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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